And then there was one.

Hello again. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year.

It has been quite some time since we last spoke there have been a number of events in my life just in the past 3 months that I want to share.

So let’s get to it.

My last post I spoke about my husband I and I having covid and eating my way through quarantine putting on extra weight and just dealing. Well I was down for a good 3 weeks and started to recover and my husband appeared to recover quickly and went back to work immediately. As I tried to get back to normalcy I realized that I needed help and was ready to accept medication to help me with my diabetes. I had not succeeded in making any major changes in my life in the 90 days given my doctor.

I had my follow up appointment at the end of October and I was ready to ask, no beg to be placed on medication to help me. I felt I was incapable of doing this on my own. My doctor reviewed my blood work, other labs and my apple health logs and to my surprise said I did not need to be placed on medication. My A1C had gone from 6.2 to 6.1, so whatever I was doing I should keep doing for now.

What was I doing different? I have no clue. I was ready to throw in the towel and be on medication for the rest of my life. I really was ready to accept that life. I had lost 2 pounds (at the time of weigh in) and my numbers all appeared to be going in the right direction, but how?

Now I am not complaining because of course this is all good news. My spirit renewed I once again vowed to “try” and let nothing get in the way of my health…

You know the universe is funny.

The holiday season had started and my Etsy shop became very busy. The new Black Panther movie was coming out and my family and I were preparing to have a viewing party. Things were good in life, things were busy, very busy. Between my 9-5 and Etsy I did not work out, but I did take two 15 minute walks during my works and the running around my craft room pressing shirts and making ornaments kept me active enough that I did not gain weight, but I didn’t lose any either. My weight bounced back and forth between 269-271.

My husband helped me with the shop and made sure I ate, I would forget to eat with all the Etsy projects and get very dizzy. He was there working with me to the very end and we were looking forward to Christmas and having sometime off.

A few weeks before Christmas my husband passed away. My husband was healthy, never drank or did anything terribly unhealthy this was so sudden and unexpected.

I am told that I need to keep going for him. I am told I need to be healthy more than ever now. Since my husband passed I will admit I have not taken care of myself. The month of December has been very hard. I have had several diabetes related issues, my vision has deteriorated and I didn’t feel like moving much.

New Year… Just me.

Now its 2023…I have this problem. I am not very motivated, but I know what I need to do. I feel weird about it. I want very much still to become healthy, to have a body that I am comfortable with, but I feel like it would be unfair to achieve this now that my husband is gone when I had so many opportunities to achieve better health and body while he was here.

Let me know if you have ever felt this way and if you have been able to move forward with achieving health. I really would love to hear from you.

Until next time

AnissaMare.